The Indian society is still coming around to the idea of ‘therapy’, not the retail kind, but the pour-your-heart-out-to-a-qualified-stranger kind. More and more professionals are gradually setting up practice. Little do they know, Indian moms think they have been giving therapy unlicensed since the beginning of time.

For decades, “thodi der so jaa” has been our mothers’ go-to solution to us feeling upset, stressed, or uneasy. While there is no denying the power of a good nap, sometimes the solution is just not that simple, and the problem is just not short-lived.

In Indian households, the T-word is almost as bad, if not worse, as cussing. The very ground beneath parents’ feet begins to shake at the idea of their child going to therapy, particularly mothers who have an instinct to think that they didn’t “provide or nurture” well enough. And to level up, they use the sharpest sword in their weaponry, the age-old “Aisi kaunsi cheez hai jo thodi der maa se baat karne se theek nahi ho sakti”.

It is true that conversations with your mother or any close confidante can be ‘therapeutic’, but it would be a grave mistake to equate it with ‘therapy’. The conversations that happen within the closed walls of a therapy room goes way deeper than any conversation that might happen outside. Therapists are trained to see us strictly in the capacity of a client, which thereby means they have no preconceived notions about our personalities, habits, or our relationships. They employ strategic techniques to identify our unhealthy patterns, and show us how our beliefs work against our own selves.

So while sometimes a tight, warm hug from our mothers might be exactly what we need on a bad day, in the face of persisting problems, talking to a therapist may help break the loop.